Firing the Surgeon General
Words and Music by Roy Zimmerman
© 1995 Watunes (BMI)
(From "Folk Heroes" [Reprise])

You can't come in
I hear you knockin' but you can't come in
I hear you knockin' but you can't come in
'Cause I'm firing the Surgeon General

You can't come in
I hear you knockin' but you can't come in
I hear you knockin' but you can't come in
'Cause I'm firing the Surgeon General

I used to flog the dolphin
Used to choke the chicken
Used to spank the monkey
Used to fool with the tool
I used to whip the bishop
Used to wax the weasel
But now I learned one they never taught in school

You can't come in
I hear you knockin' but you can't come in
I hear you knockin' but you can't come in
'Cause I'm firing the Surgeon General

I used to whack the Bobbitt
Used to knead the noodle
Used to charm the cobra
Used to ponder pointillism
I used to free the willy
Used to Pat the Robertson
But now I got me a new euphemism

You can't come in
I hear you knockin' but you can't come in
I hear you knockin' but you can't come in
'Cause I'm firing the Surgeon General

I used to think I'd need analysis
Get phalluses full of calluses
Go blind, lose my mind
Be romantically disinclined
I used to think I'd never be mollified
Or qualified at all if I'd
Go to work as a clerk
Try to be anything but a jerk

But now I wanna dance and shout
I'm jumpin' like a trouser trout
'Cause I found a way to bat it
And make a living at it
Yeah, I got into politics
And I'm never comin'
Never comin'
I'm never comin' out

You can't come in
I hear you knockin' but you can't come in
I check the lock 'n' say you can't come in
'Cause I'm firing the Surgeon General
Firing the Surgeon General
Firing the Surgeon General
Firing the Surgeon General