Ain't No Liberal
words and music by Roy Zimmerman
© 1993, 1995 Watunes (BMI)
(From "Folk Heroes" [Metaphor], "Folk Heroes" [Reprise] and "The Best of the Foremen")

I saw a blinding flash of light
So I pulled over to the first church on the right

And I feel so good, ain't no doubt
Wanna laugh and shout about it
'Cause I once was a liberal
But I ain't no liberal no more

I saw a bum on the curb today
Well, I hit the gas and covered him with gutter spray

And I feel so good, ain't no doubt
Wanna laugh and shout about it
'Cause I once was a liberal
But I ain't no liberal no more

My heart is jumpin' and my head is swimmin'
I feel like I could take the vote away from women

And I feel so good, ain't no doubt
Wanna laugh and shout about it
'Cause I once was a liberal
But I ain't no liberal no more

On that joyful day, yes on that glorious day
The day I threw my Birkenstocks away
The angel told me, "Oh, ye man of sin,
Open up your bleeding heart and let Pat Buchanan in!"

I saw a starving third world nation
So I exploited its underprivileged population

And I feel so good, ain't no doubt
Wanna laugh and shout about it
'Cause I once was a liberal
But I ain't no liberal no more

Now, I support all my neighbors of color
And their attempts to make that color a little duller

And I feel so good, ain't no doubt
Wanna laugh and shout about it
'Cause I once was a liberal
But I ain't no liberal no more

Oh, on that joyful day, yes on that glorious day
The day I burned up all my macramé
The angel told me what is good for GM
Is good for me, and me, and me
And the hell with the rest of them

I used to be so paranoid
But now I'm — what?!

I feel so good, ain't no doubt
Wanna laugh and shout about it
'Cause I once was a liberal
But I ain't no liberal
And I once was a peacenik
But I bought stock in Lockheed

And I once was a union man
But I got me this nice office

And I once was a feminist
But I just don't understand women

And I once supported rent control
But I inherited some property

And I once was anti-censorship
But I don't have time for fiction

And I once hated racism
But I figure, why fight it?

And I once had compassion
But I ain't no liberal no more