My Conservative Girlfriend
words and music by Roy Zimmerman
© 1995 Watunes (BMI)
(From "Folk Heroes" [Reprise]) & "The Best of the Foremen"

She's a real Type A
And she's over-insured
Her favorite castaway
Is Thurston Howell, the third
She doesn't like big government so it's no surprise
I can be her lover long as I downsize

My conservative girlfriend
Got a tiny little heart full of passion
My conservative girlfriend
Every Friday we go liberal bashin'

She got the Supreme Court
Tattooed on her rump
Beside an autographed port-
Trait of Donald Trump
And from the day I checked her out from front to back
I knew her private sector could take up the slack

My conservative girlfriend
Got a tiny little heart full of passion
My conservative girlfriend
Every Sunday we go Medicare slashin'

(spoken)
Oh, baby, I close my eyes and I can see you ordering breakfast.
You're having the spotted owl omelet...
Whites only.
Come on, baby,
Raise my interest rate, bust my union, light my library fire...

(sung)
She only deals in quality narcotics and guns
Got a Mexican wallet made from real Mexicans

My conservative girlfriend
Got a tiny little heart full of passion
My conservative girlfriend
Her white collar and her red neck are clashin'
My conservative girlfriend
Think she's lookin' for a good tongue lashin'
My conservative girlfriend
Every summer we go wilderness trashin'