Hard Time to Be a Man
© 1993 Watunes (BMI)
(From "Folk Heroes" [Metaphor])
Ever since civilization began
Bein' a man meant bein' a man
But lately everybody's gettin' so edified
And now we gotta get in touch with our feminine side
And it's a hard time to be a man
We try to be as sensitive as we can
We gotta piss, grunt, smoke, fight, sweat and stink
And now we gotta clean up the sink, good Lord!
Now we gotta clean up the sink
Yesterday I was puttin' air in the spare
(Hard time to be a man)
When a chick walked by with a pair out to there!
(Hard time to be a man)
Well, I thought I might go over and harass her a bit
But then the fear of litigation took the fun out of it
And it's a hard time to be a man
We try to be as sensitive as we can
We gotta piss, grunt, smoke, fight, spit and swear
And now we gotta color our hair, good Lord!
Now we gotta color our hair
(Spoken)
Now, this bar graph represents the thought processes of the average American male in 1957. We see, in descending order of importance, sex, sports, cars, and sex in sports cars. But things have changed since the enlightenment, as illustrated by this 1993 bar graph showing that men now think about sex, sports, cars, and promoting the wellness of the planet and the humanness of all people by creating a caring and nurturing environment in which to have sex in sports cars.
(Sung)
Men are brutish and inflexible and violent and lecherous
And rude and self-indulgent, and we like it that way
Callous, immature and confrontational and boorish
Why hate 'yer nature, that's what we say
We've been cursed since we were nursed
With the hateful traits that women rate the worst
But when we take a wife
You know we mate for life
Or thirty-thousand miles, whichever comes first
I was out drinkin' on a Saturday night
(Hard time to be a man)
There's a big, drunk, longshoreman pickin' a fight
(Hard time to be a man)
I told him he should try to heal the child within
He said, "That's really quite perceptive,"
And he bit me on the shin
And it's a hard time to be a man
We try to be as sensitive as we can
We gotta piss, grunt, smoke, fight, fart and flex
And think of something other than sex, good Lord!
Think of something other than sex
How 'bout them Niners!