Homeland Security
© 2004
(From "Security")
What do you call a tax cut for the wealthiest one percent?
Homeland Security
What do you call the other ninety-nine who can't make the rent?
Homeland Security
A lovely little bit of phraseology
For all the Neocon-men
When they announce a massive deficit
Something that they can say to preface it
What do you call the cable guy who's rifling through your mail?
Homeland Security
What do you call it when you get arrested for clipping a nail?
Homeland Security
Two little words that mean a Shock and Awe campaign
To rival ancient Rome
Just to assure
Assure you that you're
You're so secure at home
What do you call it when you live in fear of the Dixie Chicks?
Homeland Security
Or when the guy you're running out of Baghdad is named Hans Blix?
Homeland Security
A beautiful bon mot to keep you right on your ass
A weapon of mass distraction
And if we uncover something scandalous
Something that they can say to handle us
What do you call a nightmare that you're stuck on the Brooklyn Bridge?
Homeland Security
Suddenly there's a monster and it turns out to be Tom Ridge
Homeland Security
Two little words that authorize the FBI
To classify your every chromosome
Just to assure
Assure you that you're
You're so secure at home
What do you call the latent fascist, uh, the latest fashion on the streets
When everyone at the junior prom is wearing duct tape and plastic sheets?
What do you call it when you bet the Bill of Rights on a game of Risk?
Homeland Security
What do you call it when you give your grandma a thorough frisk?
Depends
Two little words that give Ashcroft a flag to flap
Above the capitol dome
Just to assure
Assure you that you're
You're so secure at home
And so, sleep tight
Our military might
Make everything all right at home