T.M.I.
© 1998 Watunes (BMI)
(From Comic Sutra - Live at Luna Park)
The guy sittin' next to me on the metro line downtown
Keeps grindin' his teeth and makin' a dying cricket sort of sound
Says, "They got me on so many drugs I could open a pharmaceutical museum
I'm narcoleptic and I've bit off every cuticle
I got a shunt in my cranium that drains into my bladder
And now I'm pissin' my brains out and there's something else the matter with my colon
There's a hole in my colon, yeah, and it hurts when I go bowlin'
I start to palpitate and hallucinate when I masturbate"
And I said, "Wait!
That's T.M.I. — Too Much Information
That's more than I need to know about your situation, frankly,
That's T.M.I. — Too Much Information
Here's twenty dollars — forget we had this conversation"
The guy in front of me in the county courthouse line
Says, "Hey, let me borrow your guitar, somebody ripped off mine
I guess I should'a never tried to be a dom when I know I'm a sub
I should'a never got that jalapeno rub in public
Got a chain gives me pain when I sustain an erection
And a string of sausages 'round my neck to indicate my predilection for food
I'm into food — I mean I'm INTO food
And since I've been paroled I can't be controlled around the jello mold"
And I said, "Hold it!
That's T.M.I. — Too Much Information
That's more than I need to know about your situation, buddy,
That's T.M.I. — Too Much Information
Go call a psychologist on your local right-wing radio station
What is it about my face
That makes people wanna spew their private lives all over a public place
Comin' at me with their guts displayed
Like the woman on the sidewalk at the Veterans Day Parade
Says "I'm a pagan vegan veterinarian, can I share your shade?
These ultra-violet rays are messing up my spiritual receptors
I believe this was meant to be
Wait — can you hear it?
You'll be a priest in the next life and porn star in the life after that
I'm a hemophiliac, I could love you if you loved my cat
I got a '69 Volvo and a recipe for bananas hashish
I'm a real blonde
I was personal masseuse to the Bhagwan Rajneesh (well, one of them)
And I believe that people ought to follow the truth of their heart
I want to fly around the world — no, wait, I'm channeling Amelia Earhart
I wanna tie your hands behind your neck and paint your name on your chest in molasses
I wanna go to Disneyland and get our caricatures done in magic marker on our asses
Yeah..."
And I said — "Really?
I like molasses."
She said, "That's T.M.I. — Too Much Information
That's more than I need to know about your situation, baby,
That's T.M.I. — Too Much Information
Just get in the Volvo before you ruin my reputation
— Too Much Information
More than I need to know about your situation, baby,
That's T.M.I. — Too Much Information
You're the first man I ever loved since my operation."