Did you see Laura Ingraham drinking through a straw from a light bulb-stuffed steak? Did you watch Kirstjen Nielsen calmly surveying the gulag she helped create at the Southern border? Did you hear Trump’s spiritual advisor Paula White speaking in tongues? Did you face-palm hard enough to get a concussion?
I wrote a song called “My Conservative Girlfriend” a couple decades ago, and over the years have dedicated it to Ingraham, Nielsen, White as well as Sarah Palin, Michele Bachmann, Ann Coulter, Kellyanne Conway ...
But my favorite conservative girlfriend of all time has to be internet sensation Mrs. Betty Bowers, America’s Best Christian, a wickedly satirical character written by Andrew Bradley and played ferociously by Deven Green. Deven is also a hilarious comic chanteuse. I got to share the stage with her and her partner Ned Douglas at my recent show at McCabe’s in Santa Monica.
Deven and Ned agreed to help me serenade “My Conservative Girlfriend.” Here are the results ...
I wrote "My Conservative Girlfriend" in 1995 for The Foremen with Arianna Huffington in mind. (This was pre-Huffington Post when Arianna was a leading conservative voice.) The song features a line I considered absurd at the time. It’s the lyric I'm least happy to have been prescient about ...
She's got the Supreme Court tattooed on her rump
Beside an autographed portrait of Donald Trump
During the Bush and Obama presidencies, I changed that line to “Donald Rumsfeld.” Now, alas, the song has come full circle.