SOCIALIST!
words and music
copyright © 2009
by Roy Zimmerman
copyright © 2009
by Roy Zimmerman
How many Socialists we got here tonight? Come on, let’s see a show of left hands. You drive here on a public street? Socialist. You go to a public school? Socialist. Y’ever visit a public library? Why? I’ll tell you why...
‘Cause you’re a Socialist! like Ulysses S. Grant
Yellowstone National Park - y’ever been there?
Yeah, you’re a Socialist!
Like Teddy “Pinko” Roosevelt
That guy was talking about universal health care.
You’re a taxatin’, appropriatin’, regulatin’, nanny- state-in’ Socialist!
Y’ever mail a letter? ‘Course you have...
‘Cause you’re a Socialist!
Like Dwight D. Eisenhower
He built highways between the states.
Yeah, you’re a Socialist!
Like Richard “Red Diaper” Nixon
He put food stamps on people’s plates.
You’re a taxatin’, appropriatin’, regulatin’, nanny statin’ Socialist!
How many Socialists does it take to screw in a light bulb? Too many. Four to requisition the light bulb, four more to process the requisition in triplicate, eight to manufacture the light bulb, three to supervise the manufacturing and procurement process, seven to warehouse the light bulb for an indeterminate length of time, four to deliver the light bulb to the WRONG ADDRESS, four more to redeliver the light bulb, six to receive the light bulb and one to SCREW IT UP. Forty-seven.
How many Capitalists does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two. One impoverished nation willing to exploit its malnourished population and rape its natural resources to manufacture, package and ship the light bulb to Walmart... and me.
You know why that’s funny? That’s right...
‘Cause you’re a Socialist!
Like Ronald W. Reagan
Earned Income Tax Credit
Yeah, you’re a Socialist!
Like George Double-U-S-S-R Bush
That guy wrote the book on government interference.
‘Course, he never read it.
You are a taxatin’, appropriatin’, regulatin’, nanny-statin’,
Stalin-huggin’, Castro-kissin’, Marx-fellatin’, spawn o’ Satan Socialist!
Every last one o’ ya!
‘Cause you’re a Socialist! like Ulysses S. Grant
Yellowstone National Park - y’ever been there?
Yeah, you’re a Socialist!
Like Teddy “Pinko” Roosevelt
That guy was talking about universal health care.
You’re a taxatin’, appropriatin’, regulatin’, nanny- state-in’ Socialist!
Y’ever mail a letter? ‘Course you have...
‘Cause you’re a Socialist!
Like Dwight D. Eisenhower
He built highways between the states.
Yeah, you’re a Socialist!
Like Richard “Red Diaper” Nixon
He put food stamps on people’s plates.
You’re a taxatin’, appropriatin’, regulatin’, nanny statin’ Socialist!
How many Socialists does it take to screw in a light bulb? Too many. Four to requisition the light bulb, four more to process the requisition in triplicate, eight to manufacture the light bulb, three to supervise the manufacturing and procurement process, seven to warehouse the light bulb for an indeterminate length of time, four to deliver the light bulb to the WRONG ADDRESS, four more to redeliver the light bulb, six to receive the light bulb and one to SCREW IT UP. Forty-seven.
How many Capitalists does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two. One impoverished nation willing to exploit its malnourished population and rape its natural resources to manufacture, package and ship the light bulb to Walmart... and me.
You know why that’s funny? That’s right...
‘Cause you’re a Socialist!
Like Ronald W. Reagan
Earned Income Tax Credit
Yeah, you’re a Socialist!
Like George Double-U-S-S-R Bush
That guy wrote the book on government interference.
‘Course, he never read it.
You are a taxatin’, appropriatin’, regulatin’, nanny-statin’,
Stalin-huggin’, Castro-kissin’, Marx-fellatin’, spawn o’ Satan Socialist!
Every last one o’ ya!
