THE MATHEMATICS OF BOOZE
words and music
copyright © 2014 by
Roy Zimmerman
copyright © 2014 by
Roy Zimmerman
One equals two
Two equals four
One more equals one more,
One more and one more
One for the road
Equals two for the stool
Equals one to get normal and
Three more to get cool
Again...
One equals two
Two equals four
One more equals one more,
One more and one more
Three equals five
Equals seven or nine
Equals how many will it take
To hit that bottom line?
The Mathematics of Booze
The Mathematics of Booze
It doesn’t follow the usual
will or won’ts
Or the usual don’ts or do’s
When all the plans you’re making one by one
Are coming undone by two’s
That’s your introduction to
The Mathematics of Booze
Now take away your car, and take away your job
And take away your self-esteem
Now add divorce, and add remorse
And multiply by the dream you used to dream
Now try to solve for what you owe your ex
And why you’ve got that bruise
That’s a fine example of
The Mathematics of Booze
The Mathematics of “Who’s gonna know?”
Equals “Who’s gonna drive?”
Equals “Who’s gonna know if I’ve
Made it home alive?”
Oh, one equals two
Two equals four
One more order and you’re
Headed for the door...or the floor
Four equals eight
Equals ten thousand lies
Equals one of those cartoon guys
With X’s for eyes
And now methodically divide in two
All the loved ones you abuse
That’s the hardest lesson in
The Mathematics of Booze
The Mathematics of Booze
The Mathematics of…
Twelve little steps...
Two equals four
One more equals one more,
One more and one more
One for the road
Equals two for the stool
Equals one to get normal and
Three more to get cool
Again...
One equals two
Two equals four
One more equals one more,
One more and one more
Three equals five
Equals seven or nine
Equals how many will it take
To hit that bottom line?
The Mathematics of Booze
The Mathematics of Booze
It doesn’t follow the usual
will or won’ts
Or the usual don’ts or do’s
When all the plans you’re making one by one
Are coming undone by two’s
That’s your introduction to
The Mathematics of Booze
Now take away your car, and take away your job
And take away your self-esteem
Now add divorce, and add remorse
And multiply by the dream you used to dream
Now try to solve for what you owe your ex
And why you’ve got that bruise
That’s a fine example of
The Mathematics of Booze
The Mathematics of “Who’s gonna know?”
Equals “Who’s gonna drive?”
Equals “Who’s gonna know if I’ve
Made it home alive?”
Oh, one equals two
Two equals four
One more order and you’re
Headed for the door...or the floor
Four equals eight
Equals ten thousand lies
Equals one of those cartoon guys
With X’s for eyes
And now methodically divide in two
All the loved ones you abuse
That’s the hardest lesson in
The Mathematics of Booze
The Mathematics of Booze
The Mathematics of…
Twelve little steps...
