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THE VAGINA DIALOGUES
words and music
​copyright © 2015 by

Roy Zimmerman and Melanie Harby
Mike:
Well that word is offensive

Lisa:
Well, maybe when it’s said by you

Mike:
Makes me feel hypertensive

Lisa:
You’re welcome, it’s the least I can do

Mike:
Women would behoove themselves to remove themselves
And leave their private parts in our hands

          Don’t say that word

Lisa:
​          You mean “vagina?”

Mike:
​          Don’t say that word

Lisa:
​          You mean “vagina?”  

Mike:
​          Don’t say that word

Lisa:
​          You mean “vagina?”

Mike:
​          Don’t say it

Lisa:
​          Vagina, vagina, vagina vagina!

Mike:
Not in front of a lady

Lisa:
Well Mike, you know, that’s where it IS

Mike:
It’s so low-down and shady

Lisa:
Are we having an anatomy quiz?

Mike:
If women would behave themselves, they could save themselves
The trouble they’re always giving me

​          Don’t say that word

Lisa:
​          You mean “vagina?”

Mike:
​          Don’t say that word

Lisa:
​          You mean “vagina?”

Mike:
​          Yes, that’s the word

Lisa:
​          The word “vagina?”

Mike:
​          Don’t say it again

Lisa:
​          Vagina, vagina, vagina, vagina, vagina, vagina!

What could be more lady-like?
It doesn’t really have teeth, Mike
It’s where you came from and where you wanna go

And if you can’t say vagina
If you can’t say vagina
That’s kinda gyne-
Phobic, don’t you know?

Mike:
I don’t like women cursin’
I think that it’s a gosh darn shame
I’m just that kind of a person

Lisa:
A vagina by another name

Mike:
If women could contain themselves and restrain themselves
They wouldn’t be oppressed by men

​          Don’t say the V-word

Lisa:
​          You mean “vagina?”

Mike:
​          Re-word the keyword

Lisa:
​          You mean “vagina?”

Mike:
​          You’re messing with my sensibilities

Lisa:
​          With my vagina

Mike:
​          You’re making me feel ill-at-ease

Lisa:
​          With my vagina

Mike:
​          Don’t say that word

Lisa:
​          
The word “vagina?”

Mike:
​          Just let me handle it, dear

Lisa:
​​          We’ll take it from here, thanks.



​"The Vagina Dialogues" THE FAUCET'S ON FIRE! is available as a CD, as a digital download, and as part of the Complete Collection.
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©2021 Roy Zimmerman All Rights Reserved
website:[email protected]
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