TO BE A LIBERAL
words and music
copyright © 2008 by
Roy Zimmerman
copyright © 2008 by
Roy Zimmerman
On my way in here tonight, I bruised my nose
Hugging a tree
I was late, ‘cause I had to stop by on the way at San Quentin
To set a criminal free
And I ran out of seven-grain, bee-pollen, macrobiotic, organic, sustainable
medical marijuana
For my jerking knee
Do you know how hard it is
To be a liberal?
I had to learn to speak French, Spanish, Hindi and Dolphin
Just so I could relate
I’m exhausted from taxing and spending, and controlling the media, and hiding my
agenda, and ruling San Francisco
As a separatist nation-state
And in Yoga today, I got bent out of shape ‘cause the guy doing bow-pulling
pose next to me was intolerant
Which I hate
Do you know how hard it is
To Be a Liberal?
Constantly feeding the hungry, and bleeding my heart, and exceeding my budget,
and needing approval, and reading the Nation and leading a sing-along...
Everybody! - No, wait. That was just an impulse, sorry...
I’s shootin’ hoops wif some brothahs, and sprained my badonkadonk
And you know, that ain’t chill
I saved an endangered snail darter from being eaten by an endangered spotted owl,
which I saved from being eaten by an endangered snow leopard which I saved
from being shot by a poacher
Who I had to kill...
With kindness...
Took a while
I hit a speed bump and spilled my chai latte all over the hemp-covered seats
of my Prius, and the speed bump turned out to be a homeless Native American,
so I apologized and gave him some land, then I stomped out his cigarette and
took away his gun and shot myself in the nuts on the way to my frivolous lawsuit
for sexual harassment where I was suing myself ‘cause I masturbated...
Against my will
Do you know how hard it is
To be me?
Do you know how hard it is
Just to be
A knee-jerk liberal
What I wouldn’t give
To be a circle jerk conservative
Hugging a tree
I was late, ‘cause I had to stop by on the way at San Quentin
To set a criminal free
And I ran out of seven-grain, bee-pollen, macrobiotic, organic, sustainable
medical marijuana
For my jerking knee
Do you know how hard it is
To be a liberal?
I had to learn to speak French, Spanish, Hindi and Dolphin
Just so I could relate
I’m exhausted from taxing and spending, and controlling the media, and hiding my
agenda, and ruling San Francisco
As a separatist nation-state
And in Yoga today, I got bent out of shape ‘cause the guy doing bow-pulling
pose next to me was intolerant
Which I hate
Do you know how hard it is
To Be a Liberal?
Constantly feeding the hungry, and bleeding my heart, and exceeding my budget,
and needing approval, and reading the Nation and leading a sing-along...
Everybody! - No, wait. That was just an impulse, sorry...
I’s shootin’ hoops wif some brothahs, and sprained my badonkadonk
And you know, that ain’t chill
I saved an endangered snail darter from being eaten by an endangered spotted owl,
which I saved from being eaten by an endangered snow leopard which I saved
from being shot by a poacher
Who I had to kill...
With kindness...
Took a while
I hit a speed bump and spilled my chai latte all over the hemp-covered seats
of my Prius, and the speed bump turned out to be a homeless Native American,
so I apologized and gave him some land, then I stomped out his cigarette and
took away his gun and shot myself in the nuts on the way to my frivolous lawsuit
for sexual harassment where I was suing myself ‘cause I masturbated...
Against my will
Do you know how hard it is
To be me?
Do you know how hard it is
Just to be
A knee-jerk liberal
What I wouldn’t give
To be a circle jerk conservative
