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TURN OFF THE HUBBLE
words and music
copyright © 2006 by
Roy Zimmerman
They put a telescope in outer space
So Mother Earth could look about her space

And what she saw was rather shocking
T’was Stephen Hawking
And he was talking ’bout expanding 
Universal understanding

And that telescope
Forced her to contemplate as well as cope

With cosmological conjecture
And how that affects yer
Morning commute

And faced with this dilemma, I ask you
What on earth’s a Mother Earth to do?

    Turn off the Hubble
    Stay out of trouble
    Live in a bubble
    With Barney Rubble

    Dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb
    Dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb
    Dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb
    Dumb dumb dumb dumb!

We’ll pull the plug and watch it plummet down
No need to shoot, we’ll simply dumb it down

Before it spoils our education
With information
And fills our heads up with a lotta
That erroneous errata
More importantly, we got a

Brand new paradigm
NASA is singing, “Can you spare a dime?”

And there’s a starving astrophysicist
We won’t need his assis-
Tance anymore

’cause from now on we spell intelligence
With a silent S-C-I-E-ence

    Turn off the Hubble
    Live in a bubble
    Like Barney Rubble
    ‘cept only double

    Dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb
    Dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb
    Dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb
    Dumb dumb dumb dumb! 

Now, Galileo
Went way over his head
That’s what they said
When he was excommunicated

He was a menace
To Genesis, they say
And to this day
We say to that Yea, verily, Yea

And so we sent the president a list
Of every brilliant fundementalist
Which some might call oxymoronical
Like the Times and Chronicle

And all them eggheads at the college
With degrees in Big Bang-ology
They ought to just apologetically acknowledge

That our destiny
Is manifestly Charleton Heston-y

Let’s saddle up and send a man to Mars
Where better than to Mars
The planet from which some
Would tell us men have come

And incidentally, we’ve discovered that
An expanding universe makes us look fat

    Turn off the Hubble
    Stay out of trouble
    Live in a bubble
    With Barney Rubble

    Turn off the Hubble
    Live in a bubble
    Like Barney Rubble
    ‘cept only double

    Dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb
    Dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb
    Dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb
    Dumb dumb dumb Double-U!

Yes, given half a mind you know the Shrub’ll
Turn off the Hubble!


This version of "Turn Off the Hubble" is on the album FAULTY INTELLIGENCE, available as a CD, as a digital download and as part of the Complete Collection.
GET FAULTY INTELLIGENCE
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©2021 Roy Zimmerman All Rights Reserved
website:jctez12@gmail.com
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